Friday, 30 October 2015

Jordan's writing about hiding

We were doing a writing test and it had to be a time when we were hiding.

I think I write more than I usually write.

I think maybe next time I could put more punctuation in the right places.

“Ouch” as I bellyflop into the pool hiding from my mum and dad holding
my brief breath choking on water. As they walked around the pool looking for me some bubbles came up. It was starting to get cold so I slowly come back up I creeped out
of the pool and slowly sprinted up the stairs. To get a towel then I start to get so
hungry but my mum and dad were still looking for me then I got bored so I went and
told them where I was hiding from them.

I saw my mum on the bacne I walked over to her and scared her I told her I was in the pool holding my breath when you went passed. Ha mum can you make something to eat
5 mins later “that was yum thank you mum can you make me some more please” I said “ok” she replied.


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