Wednesday, 23 March 2016

Thomas Injury

Woosh there i go down the bluff in Waitangi i was going fast as a ostrich. I was scared as you would be in a  haunted house. I put my legs out and car was next to  me. When i put my legs out hit my foot on the tire and to make it even worse i had no shoes on. when  my feet hit the rubber of the tire my feet . It felt like a element on  the stove ouch!!!!! i shouted. I started feeling dizzy.  my head felt like a drum in a marching band. i started to to rub my foot that got burnt from the tire.  There was red as rash on my foot. It was red as a red pencil that you colour in with. So then i told the driver that burnt my foot my dads phone number. my dad rushed from work and came to check on me. My dad called the ambulance. 111 emergency fire, ambulance or police. My dad replied “ambulance please”. And the they they talked away like a bunch of chatter birds. They came to the bluff and they put me in the ambulance truck. And drove off to Kawakawa Hospital. When i got there it was 2:00 pm. I had to stay there for Three nights.

My reflection 

What did I do or WALT: what I  was doing Is that I was writing a time when I was either sick or got hurt. I chose about a time when I got hurt.

What I think I did well: what I think I did well was that I put interesting and descriptive words In It.

What I think I could do better next time:  what i could do better time Is that I could put  more detail and words In It

What I enjoyed about It: what I enjoyed about my writing Is finishing It and re-reading I.  I felt really proud

1 comment:

  1. Kia ora Thomas. I enjoyed reading your writing. I think you have tried to be very descriptive with your words. I did not enjoy reading the word I written as i. I look forward to reading more of your writing. Well done, Thomas.