Friday, 6 March 2015

Great Writing Happening in Room 8

WALT: show not tell when we write a recount.

Successs Criteria.
1. Hook in the audience with a great story starter.

Here are some great descriptive extracts from my Room 8 students.

The boiling hot sand squished in between my toes. It felt like 48 degrees in the scorching hot heat of the sun. As I was applying sunblock onto my burnt skin, I was looking at the shimmering rays of the sun dancing on the tops of the wavy sea.
By Aquilla.

Mihi's dad was yelling at her and it made Mihi nervous and embarrassed. The more her dad yelled, the more mistakes Mihi made.
By Andrew.

We gripped the hoe and paddled out to the buoy. We skimmed across the water like Usain Bolt, sprinting down his lane.
By Alazhay.

I looked down below me. I felt fear slowly creeping inside me. I turned and looked at my brother, he was happy. Then I looked at my surroundings... the bridge, and the water way below.

I closed my eyes and threw myself into the air. I felt the air in my face and then the excitement hit me. For the first time in my life, I felt...     freedom.
By Saphron.

I looked out of the steamy, smudgy window thinking, 'I can't wait to get in that pool.'
By Ryan.

I gripped the edge of the waka with one hand and grabbed hold of the hoe with the other, thinking to myself; will I do this right or will I fail.
By Anihera.

I looked around before I jumped. I took three deep breaths...   and jumped off the jetty. I didn't care how big or small my jump was, I just jumped. I knew that if I didn't make this jump, my brother would always call me a woose for not jumping.
By Pokai.

No comments:

Post a Comment