tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-86999336667214548.post9185658708947905361..comments2019-09-16T23:13:25.149+12:00Comments on Room 8 @ Paihia School: What did I do or WALT: What I was doing was writing about a time with friends and whanau. What I think I did well: I jumped straight into the story and I put more descriptive words. What I think I could do better next time: I could make the story a bit longer.Whaea Chrissyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12619769365759134831noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-86999336667214548.post-86971596186175985972016-04-12T09:11:43.653+12:002016-04-12T09:11:43.653+12:00Hello Jordan, I liked that you put in your WALT so...Hello Jordan, I liked that you put in your WALT so I know what you have been working on. I think your target is in a lot of pain after being hit in the face. I don't think you have to make your story longer, as long as you capture the attention of the reader you'll be fine.Chantalhttp://stbernadettesroom6.blogspot.co.nz/2016/03/chantal.htmlnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-86999336667214548.post-9173722406637272492016-04-11T19:55:11.931+12:002016-04-11T19:55:11.931+12:00Kia ora Jordan. I enjoyed reading your recount. Yo...Kia ora Jordan. I enjoyed reading your recount. Your opening sentences grabbed my attention. It is good to see your reflection on how to make your writing better. My tip is to check that you use the same tense throughout. I look forward to reading more of your writing. I think paintball would be painful. Laser tag is loads of fun.Mrs Lindsayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10325100045675627873noreply@blogger.com